


Realizations and Epiphanies

by Niullum



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Blood and Injury, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, In which Jason realizes Bruce loves him, Jason Todd Feels, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd-centric, Rated T for Trashmouth (IT), and come back as Jason Todd, no beta we die like robins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27453001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niullum/pseuds/Niullum
Summary: Another year has passed with Jason back in town and while his relationship with the rest of the Bats has improved, everything is still complicated.Not that it matters anyways, since Jason knows his position within the family. He's the outcast, the black sheep of the family. The failed Robin. Nothing else and nothing more.Until a mission proves him wrong.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Comments: 11
Kudos: 145





	Realizations and Epiphanies

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, welcome! This is a fic I've been working on for a while. I hope you guys like this. Updates will be once a month because school is killing me and exam season is getting near. I hope you guys can understand.
> 
> That being said, enjoy! And many thanks to [Ico](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icosagens) for their imput! <3 <3 <3

A slight breeze moved through the air, swaying the tree’s branches above him. The air was cold and smelled fresh, almost pure. Too pure for a polluted city like Gotham but for Jason it smelled perfect.

The night, on the other hand, felt quiet and peaceful. A rare occurrence, since there were few moments when Jason felt at peace. Moments like this—watching the few stars in the sky from the aged up tiles of the rooftop—made Jason feel like the never-ending self-loathing and anger could ease a little.

Not disappear completely _(no, those days were far away from his reach)_ , but dim enough for Jason to feel like he could breathe again and feel the tiniest bit human.

Or close his eyes without flinching seconds later, thinking a crowbar would impact on his head. Again. And again until there was no more of him left. All of that accompanied by that wicked laugh, that was the main culprit of his nightmares nowadays.

_Smile for me pretty bird!_

Jason put his hands behind his head and hummed. Nights like these were scarce and few for a broken human like him, but appreciated nonetheless. Except every night Jason wasn’t chained by the ghost of his death and past, his mind would end up wandering. Like a broken record trying to replay the first song, except this wasn’t a song.

Only thoughts. Innocent and intrusive thoughts that would soon end up spiraling like a train without breaks. Thoughts of what his life could have been if he hadn’t taken the tires that night

Would he still end up as a vigilante? Or become a civilian? A teacher? Or would he have followed the legacy of his biological father, and become another statistic in this forsaken city?

Despite what you may think, those were the optimist ones. Most of the time, Jason ended up with way more depressing options that ended up hating life for giving such a shitty childhood.

More specifically for giving such a fucked up _father._ If Jason had to describe Willis Todd in simple words would probably be a fucking piece shit. The classic example of Crime Alley, except that for scum like him, Willis Todd had outdone himself.

Could easily win the “worst father of the decade” award for making both his mother and him suffer so much and leaving them in a life of full misery.

Not even his gruesome _“murder”_ had managed to stop the damage. Willis had found a way to keep fucking up with him and Catherine, even after his supposed death. It was just a matter of looking at the huge chunk of debts he'd left behind, and the many enemies he’d formed while working under two-face.

Enough for his mother to be rejected for any job offer until she didn’t bother getting out of bed again. Willis Todd deserved hell and much more for leaving his wife and only son behind, and inadvertently forging her _mum_ ’s death.

His breath hitched at the thought of her. Even if more than a decade had passed since Catherine’s death, Jason still had to deal with the lingering pain of loss she left behind. He missed her dearly and remembered her daily.

And much more now that time had slowly begun to erase traces of her. He couldn’t remember how her laugh sounded like, the way her eyes would wrinkle whenever he cracked a joke to make her smile, the way she smelled like or even just… or how she would sing her favorite song while cooking.

His mom was the kind of subject that made Jason’s heartache with pain every time he thought of her. The topic that made his pack of cigarettes emptier faster than lighting a match.

The accumulated regret for not being more attentive with her and not realizing sooner that mom’s recreational activities would eventually kill her. Not that Jason ever blamed his mother for becoming an addict. Between the mix of grief and wanting to escape from the harsh reality they lived in Jason could understand. If he’d been in her steps, Jason would have…

_Would have what?_

His thoughts stopped right there. _It doesn’t matter,_ he thought and craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the stars. It was why he’d come up here to stargaze in the first place. Well, to see Ursa Major to be more precise.

One of the first constellations Bruce ever taught him, during the first couple of years he moved in. A hobby so to speak that started after Jason blurted out after patrol that he didn’t know where north was.

For a side vigilante (at that time) direction was extremely important.

And so, the stargazing session began. Nights where they would both lay in the tall and well-kept grass of the Manor’s lawn and see the stars until Alfred would later intervene and drive them back to their quarters with the excuse that _young boys need to sleep to grow Master Bruce_.

A snort came out of his mouth at the memory of Alfred. It was thanks to him that both didn’t catch a cold for all the times they fell asleep in the backyard learning more circumpolar constellations. Learning about Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Draco, Cepheus, and Cassiopeia.

Nights looking for the _brightest star in the Ursa Minor constellation_ , located just at the end. Jason wondered from time to time if Bruce kept stargazing after he died. Well, there were a lot of things Jason secretly wondered about him.

Especially now that Jason was back in town. A delicate topic that Jason didn’t know how to feel about. Many things had changed during the short time he’d stayed _“dead”._ While things between him and the rest of Bruce’s family had improved everything was too... _complicated_ so to speak. Kind of hard to forgive and move on when the other’s flaws caused his death.

Or look at Bruce’s eyes and not see their past relationship, filled with not enough affection or positive feedback and too much criticism and blame. The guilt for not _being_ faster or stronger.

The shame of not being good enough to be Robin.

Jason closed his eyes and counted to ten, in the hopes it would help him cool down. At least with Willis, Jason had no problem despising him since he’d been awful from that start but Bruce on the other hand… something held him back from fully hating him.

_He loves you, Master Jason, he always has._

His fist tightened.

Everyone kept saying that underneath all that cold poker-face laid a man who loved his kids. Jason had never seen past that mask, not even once since he’d come back. But if so… why he _never…?_

Jason opened his eyes, trailed the pointer stars in the Big Dipper with his fingers until he found the diminutive figure that vaguely resembled a shape-like house. _Cepehus,_ Bruce’s favorite constellation.

The gentle breeze against his skin was the only signal he needed to get moving and finish his patrol.

* * *

Patrol distracted him for a while. It was a welcome change for his exhausted brain and his heavy heart. Still rough on the edges but with enough determination to stop whoever dared to infringe the law in his territory.

Oracle called three hours later. The call came unexpectedly, right before Jason was about to finish his patrol. A usual routine nowadays, that was getting more boring each day. A common phenomenon that usually happened after all the major villains were back in Arkham. Not that it reassured Jason since he knew it was just a matter of time before something happened in this forsaken city.

After all, this was Gotham, a city where the impossible was… possible. Where the strangest thing could happen and no one could bat an eye. From mutated giant lizards to a psychotic clown. You name it. Gothamites have seen it all. Except… something felt different the minute Barbara entered the private channel.

“Hood.”

“Oracle,” Jason saluted. He did not have the patience to deal with another bat thing. He narrowed his eyes at the nearest camera and said. “You’ve got five minutes.”

_“Your assistance.”_

He rolled his eyes and snorted because _of course_ , they would only call when they needed him.

“Is this going to be another family gathering?” Jason said, with clear distrust. The last time they had attempted that, it hadn’t gone well. Lots of wild bullets and injuries were involved. “Ain’t got time for that right now.”

“None of that, Hood,” said Oracle with a chuckle. “Batman needs back-up.”

 _What happened,_ that was the first thing that came to his mind. It wasn’t normal to ask for help. It often happened in their line of work. There was no shame in requiring it. But after weeks of no danger, it was suspicious.

And today of _all_ days? _Was it the clown…?_ His brain tried to remember when was the last time they had locked that fucker down. Strange, it hadn’t been too long.

“When does that man ever not need back-up,” Jason said.

“When he’s not being outnumbered,” Oracle deadpanned.

“What did that old man get up to,” Jason said with a sigh. The night was going so well. _Too good to be true_.

“You tell me, Hood, I’m just the messenger,” Oracle replied. ”Will you come or not?”

“Yeah, I will.”

A soft whimper brought him back to reality.

Jason blinked, suddenly remembering who he had grabbed. He narrowed his eyes and searched for the source. Right, the thief he’d just caught. He tightened his hold and the other man choked up, afraid.

“You owe me big for this one O,” Jason said and saluted with his free hand to the camera. “Be there in five.”

 _“Thanks, Hood,”_ she said and said ´ _they’re in The Narrows_ ´ before cutting the comm line. He narrowed his eyes back to the quivering man.

“I guess it’s your lucky day,” Jason growled out. On a normal occasion, Jason could have taken his sweet time in making this man pay, but they needed him somewhere else.

“Thank-”

The man didn’t get to say anything else before Jason hit him in the face with the butt of his gun, knocking him out cold. He turned around, his mind already planning which route would be the fastest. And as Jason flew from roof to roof, traveling to the other side of the city, one thing stayed on his mind.

Jason hoped that whatever was requiring his help, would be worth it.

* * *

The Narrows were unnervingly silent when he arrived. Goosebumps slid across his skin and arms when he perched on the nearest roof. There was no breeze at all.

His nape prickled with dread when he saw no shadow moving, no _nothing_. The streets were bare too. He jumped from roof to roof and strangely, no passengers were passing by. Something was not making sense.

He pulled his gun out from the holster and carefully started approaching the coordinates Oracle sent him. Just as he was about to arrive and out of the corner of his eyes he saw moving. In less than a blink of an eye, Jason turned around and aimed, completely unimpressed by Nightwing who decided to greet him.

“Jaybird,” He greeted him warmly while raising both of his hands in surrender so Jason would lower it. The smile widened as Jason lowered his hands. “Took you long to get here, huh?”

“Goldie,” Jason said, hoping the voice modulator would camouflage the discomfort that happened to go through him every time he had to meet with one of the bats. There was a reason why Jason avoided them like hell. “Though we had a rule of no personal names while in costume.”

“Little wing then,” Dick corrected, with a smile so warm, Jason broke eye contact. The thing Jason hated about Dick was that he always knew how to warm up to someone, even if the other person didn’t like him.

He took a breath and asked, “where’s the rest?”

A pause and Dick replied.

“Batman and Red Robin are a few meters away,” the easiness and warmth got replaced by the serious tone every thief feared. Nightwing continued. “Checking the surroundings. They’ll be back in five and make a plan.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Dick said with a sigh, “We’re sorta short with staff.”

“Where’s Robin?”

Nightwing winced and did a vague gesture with his hand in a tired tone.

“It’s a long story,” Nightwing said with a sigh, “Robin’s grounded.”

“What did the bat demon do to-”

“ _Red Hood_ ,” the gruff voice interrupted them both. Jason resisted the urge to flinch when he felt him _looming_. There was only one person in this world who would do that with ease.

“Batman,” he said, indifferent.

“You came,” was the reply that for some reason managed to strike a nerve in him. The annoyance resurfaced within him. _Did Bruce think so low of him he was surprised to see him here?_

“Trust me if it wasn’t for Oracle, I wouldn’t have come,” he said crossing his arms. “What’s the verdict?”

“We discovered an illegal operation two days ago,” he started, in his typical batman voice, and crossed his arms. “Our sources point-”

“You mean _Oracle_ -” Jason pointed out and cast his eyes around the area, inspecting the perimeter. At a first glance, there was nothing strange here. From the outside, there was only a three-floor building with a vintage front. It was only when he pushed the thermal scan that he realized why he’d been summoned.

“Human trafficking,” He stated barely holding down the snarl and anger that threatened to burst at seeing the small humans tied up and kept in a room on the second floor. He looked back at Batman.

“There are thirty hostages there,” Batman said, “that will be auctioned today, somewhere-”

“Bastards,” Jason cursed under his breath. “Fucking pieces of-”

“Which is why we need your help. We need to dismantle and knock down the operation before the auction starts.”

Jason waited a moment and said.

“When do we start?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you guys like it and if so, please let me know in the comments! Comments and kudos give me serotonin and keeps my muse flowing. I do not know how active I'll be on November due to school but thank you for reading this <3


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